Show-and-Tell 6 (The Cat Wins)

051910

All right, all right.  Before I get bombarded with “How could you?” comments (not that anyone actually reads this), let me start by saying that…

Eh, I don’t know where to start.

Hm…Perhaps a Show-and-Tell episode would be more appropriate.  *changes title*

Whoa!

What?

I was literally just brushing my teeth.

So?

So, you just zapped me out of my bathroom so I can do some unscheduled work.  What if I were tending to some other business?

Nothing is ever scheduled here.  And what are you talking about “zapped out”?

I’m going to simplify this for you as much as I can.  Basically, I was at home, doing my own thing because I knew I didn’t have to work today.  Your sudden change of mind literally pulled me out of my home so that I can serve Your Highness immediately.

How is that possible?

I don’t know. Something about neurons and dendrites.  It’s all in the Barron’s AP Bio book you were studying a couple of weeks ago.

Ok…

Well, now that I’m here.  What the heck do you want to—

Is that a f****** cat?  A f****** dead cat?

Yea.

What the f***?

OK, first, I want to say that it was either this picture or a picture of my lunch from a barbecue the school hosts every year.

Then why the f*** did you use the picture of this cat?

Well, this is something new.  And because I always post pictures of food!

Choosing not to post pictures of food don’t make you any skinnier!

*stare*

So, tell the audience why the f*** you’re showing them a dead cat.

Because it’s part of my Biology class.  We needed to start dissecting a cat and study its body.

F****** bio.  Of course.

Can you stop cursing?

*stare*  How can I stop, you murderer?  Weren’t you just at a Veggie Pride Parade?  Didn’t they advocate for animal rights?

You got me.  I’m a terrible person.

What will your friend Stef—Wait, what?

I’m a bad person.  I don’t deserve to live.

That’s right.

See you all next time.

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